Elder Financial Abuse — Warning Signs and What to Do

Dorothy trusted her son completely. He had been "helping" manage her finances for two years after her husband passed away. He paid her bills. He drove her to the bank. He told her everything was fine.

By the time Dorothy's daughter noticed something was wrong, $87,000 had disappeared from her mother's savings account. The money Dorothy and her late husband had saved over a lifetime — gone. Spent by the person she trusted most in the world.

Dorothy's story is heartbreaking. But it is far more common than most people realize.

What Is Elder Financial Abuse?

Elder financial abuse is when someone takes, misuses, or withholds money or property from an older adult. It is a form of elder abuse, and it is different from the phone scams targeting seniors that we often hear about in the news.

The hardest part? In most cases of elder financial abuse, the person doing the harm is not a stranger. It is someone the older adult knows and trusts — a family member, a caregiver, a friend, or a professional advisor.

That is what makes this type of abuse so devastating. It is not just about losing money. It is about losing trust in the people you love.

The Scale of the Problem

The numbers are staggering.

According to research from the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau and various elder advocacy organizations, older Americans lose an estimated $28.3 billion every year to financial exploitation. That is billion with a "b."

And those are only the cases we know about. Experts believe the vast majority of elder financial abuse goes unreported. Some estimates suggest that for every case that is reported, 44 cases go undetected.

Why do so many cases stay hidden? Because the victims are often ashamed. Because the abuser is someone they love. Because they fear losing their independence or being placed in a care facility. Because sometimes they do not even realize it is happening.

Who Commits Elder Financial Abuse?

This is the part that is hardest to talk about. But it is important to be honest.

Adult Children and Grandchildren

This is the most common group. An adult child who is struggling financially may start "borrowing" money from a parent and never pay it back. A grandchild may pressure a grandparent for cash. Sometimes it starts small and grows over time until significant amounts have been taken.

Spouses and Partners

A spouse or new romantic partner may take control of finances and limit the older adult's access to their own money. This can happen in long-standing marriages or in newer relationships.

Caregivers and Home Aides

Someone hired to help with daily tasks may use their position of trust to steal money, forge checks, or use the older adult's credit cards. They may also pressure the older person into giving them gifts or changing their will.

Financial Advisors and Professionals

Sadly, some financial professionals take advantage of older clients. They may recommend unnecessary investments, charge excessive fees, or simply steal from accounts they manage. If you use online banking, make sure you understand how to use online banking safely so you can keep a close eye on your accounts.

New "Friends" or Romantic Partners

Sometimes a new person enters an older adult's life and quickly becomes very close. They may shower the person with attention and affection — and then start asking for money or access to finances. This is sometimes called a "romance scam," but it can also happen in person, not just online.

10 Warning Signs of Elder Financial Abuse

If you are an older adult, or if you have an older loved one, watch carefully for these red flags. Any one of them on its own might have an innocent explanation. But if you notice several of them together, it is time to pay close attention.

1. Unexplained Withdrawals or Transfers

Large or frequent withdrawals from bank accounts that the older adult cannot explain. ATM withdrawals when the person does not normally use an ATM. Transfers to unfamiliar accounts.

2. New "Friends" Who Are Unusually Interested in Finances

Someone new appears in the person's life and quickly starts asking about money, property, or investments. They may offer to "help" manage finances or accompany the person to the bank.

3. Changes to Wills, Power of Attorney, or Beneficiaries

Sudden changes to important legal documents, especially when a new person is involved. A will that has been the same for decades is suddenly rewritten. A power of attorney is granted to someone unexpected.

4. Unpaid Bills Despite Having Enough Money

The person has always paid bills on time and has sufficient income or savings, but suddenly bills are going unpaid. Utilities are being shut off. Medical bills are piling up. The money is there — but someone else is spending it.

5. Missing Personal Belongings or Valuables

Jewelry, artwork, or other valuable items disappear from the home. The person may not notice right away, or they may be told they "gave it away" or "lost it."

6. Caregiver Controlling Access to Family and Friends

A caregiver or family member starts limiting who can visit or call. They may screen phone calls, cancel family visits, or insist on being present for all conversations. Isolation is one of the most powerful tools an abuser uses.

7. The Senior Seems Confused About Their Financial Situation

The person cannot explain recent transactions. They do not know how much money they have. They seem unaware of major financial decisions that have been made in their name.

8. New Credit Cards or Loans in the Senior's Name

Accounts the person did not open. Debt they did not incur. This is a form of identity theft, and if you suspect it is happening, best identity theft protection services can help you monitor for unauthorized activity.

9. Someone Else Controlling the Senior's Decisions

The older adult no longer makes their own choices about money. Someone else speaks for them at the bank. Someone else decides what they can and cannot spend. The person seems to need "permission" to use their own money.

10. Fear or Anxiety When Discussing Money

The person becomes visibly uncomfortable, nervous, or fearful when finances come up. They may glance at another person before answering questions. They may change the subject or become withdrawn.

How to Protect Yourself

If you are reading this and want to make sure you stay safe, here are some practical steps you can take right now.

Set up power of attorney carefully. If you grant someone power of attorney over your finances, consider naming two people who must act together, rather than giving full control to one person. Choose people you trust deeply, and make sure they understand that this is a responsibility, not a privilege.

Monitor your accounts regularly. Check your bank and credit card statements at least once a month. If you use online banking, log in and review recent transactions. Set up alerts for large withdrawals or unusual activity.

Never add someone to your bank accounts. If a family member or caregiver asks to be added to your bank account for "convenience," say no. There are other ways to help with bill-paying that do not require giving someone direct access to your money.

Keep important documents secure. Your will, financial statements, property deeds, and insurance policies should be stored in a safe place. Do not leave them where others can easily access them.

Stay socially connected. Isolation is one of the biggest risk factors for elder abuse of all kinds. Stay in touch with friends, family, neighbors, and community groups. The more people who are part of your life, the harder it is for anyone to take advantage of you without someone noticing.

Trust your instincts. If something feels wrong, it probably is. You have a lifetime of experience reading people. Do not ignore that feeling in your gut.

How to Protect a Loved One

If you are worried about an older parent, grandparent, or friend, approaching the situation requires care and sensitivity.

Have the conversation gently. Do not come in with accusations. Instead, express concern. You might say something like, "I noticed your electric bill was overdue, and I just want to make sure everything is okay." Listen more than you speak.

Offer to help review statements. Frame it as something you want to do together, not something you are taking over. "Would you like to go through your bank statements together this month? I have been meaning to review mine too."

Watch for behavioral changes. Is your loved one more anxious than usual? Are they withdrawing from social activities? Do they seem afraid of a particular person? These behavioral changes can be more telling than the financial signs.

Do not blame the victim. If someone is being financially abused, they may already feel ashamed, confused, or frightened. The last thing they need is to feel judged. Approach with compassion, not criticism.

Be patient. It may take time for someone to admit what is happening or accept help. Keep showing up. Keep checking in. Let them know you are there for them no matter what.

Where to Get Help

If you believe that you or someone you love is experiencing elder financial abuse, help is available. You do not have to face this alone.

In the United States

• Adult Protective Services (APS): Every state has an APS agency that investigates reports of elder abuse. You can find your local APS office by searching online for your state's name plus "Adult Protective Services."
• Eldercare Locator: Call 1-800-677-1116 or visit eldercare.acl.gov. This is a free service that connects older adults and their families with local resources.
• National Center on Elder Abuse (NCEA): Visit ncea.acl.gov for information, resources, and referrals.
• Local Police: If you believe a crime has been committed, contact your local law enforcement. Financial exploitation is a crime in every state.

In the United Kingdom

• Action on Elder Abuse: Call 080 8808 8141 for a confidential helpline.
• Your Local Council: Contact your local council's adult social services department to report suspected abuse.
• Age UK: Call 0800 169 65 65 for free advice and support.
• Police: If you believe a crime is being committed, call 101 for non-emergency reports or 999 in an emergency.

For Everyone

If you are in immediate danger, call emergency services right away. Do not wait.

It Is Not Your Fault

If you are reading this because you think someone is taking advantage of you, please hear this clearly: it is not your fault.

Elder financial abuse is committed by people who exploit trust. They count on your love, your loyalty, your desire to see the best in people. Those are not weaknesses. Those are some of the finest qualities a person can have.

The person who abuses that trust is the one who should feel ashamed — not you.

There is no age at which you lose the right to control your own money. There is no point in life where it becomes acceptable for someone to take what is yours. You deserve to feel safe, respected, and in control of your own finances.

Moving Forward

Elder financial abuse is painful to think about, and even more painful to experience. But awareness is the first step toward prevention.

Talk about this topic with the people you love. Share this article with a friend or family member. Check in on the older adults in your life — not just once, but regularly.

If something does not feel right, speak up. Ask questions. Seek help. The resources listed above are staffed by people who understand what you are going through and who want to help.

You are not alone. And you are never too old to stand up for yourself.